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Recently an acquaintance of mine shared many quotes on FB on’ being ignored ‘and ‘worthless.' I hesitated to check on her even though I wanted to as we were not gum buddies. After a week I saw her sharing a post on depression and I realized what she was going through. She is a new stay at home mom. The road from an ambitious professional to a homemaker is toilsome. Having experienced it, I would say I never want to be in those shoes again.

After my darling daughter, it was my sole decision to be a stay at home mom. This decision was not imposed on me. I wanted to be a part of her every small milestone. Motherhood is rewarding, and I was blessed to have the liberty of having the choice to quit my job. I know there are many women out there who do not have this liberty and they do it with an aching heart. 

I enjoyed my new status and was busy at the start. With the passage of time, the excitement of staying at home was worn off. I started feeling lonely, demotivated, miserable, irritated, helpless and hopeless. These words aren’t enough to explain how I felt. Even though the household chores and baby were enough to keep me occupied but I could still feel a void in my routine. 

The new situation made me realize a job is not always about money. A job gives a sense of accomplishment in terms of acknowledgment and appreciation. It goes without saying that the most we miss is the social circle we built as a part of it. I lacked motivation in life. My routine was the same as all homemakers - house chores, baby routines, naps, social media and TV soaps.  Depression crept in which resulted in unnecessary nagging, emotional outbursts. I started depending on my husband more for my happiness and relaxation which was not me.  I decided to work but did not want to leave my daughter’s side – the dream job of every woman I know. I wanted to do everything I could to keep me occupied to get back to the person I was. Homemaker depression is something most of us go through in this modern world. 

So here are a few things what I did to overcome to come to terms with my new status quo. Believe me; I am euphoric at this moment.

1.    Part time Job 
A part time job or a flexible job is every woman’s dream. I voraciously searched for one and was lucky enough to find one in 1 week’s time. I know I sound like those advertisements in which models come with proof of cheques  But the fact is I am having a flexible part time job for past three years which has become like a full time now but from the comfort of my home. 
So here is what I did 
•    I searched for “Virtual Assistant jobs.” If the Angel decided to move the magic wand and bring some magic into your life, you might be lucky enough to find one that suits you.
•    If you are in UAE, the following job portals might help 
  1.  Nabbesh
  2. People per hour
  3. Elance
Once you succeed in getting one assignment or job, you are likely to get more based on references. 

2.    Mystery Shopping 
As the name reveals, we just need to pretend as actual customers and assess the shop which is assigned to us. Mystery shopping is an exciting task which is ideal for women who love window shopping. At times you get lucky enough to shop and get paid for it. All we need to do is visit the shops, restaurants, cinemas, banks, or sometimes even government offices. The visit is followed by answering the questionnaires they provide. Some projects require the shopper to take a few pictures. 

There are calls and website mystery shoppings for which has a lesser pay, but you can do it from the comfort of your home. Some sites which provide mystery shop assignments are: 
  1. Ehosplc 
  2. The service checkers
  3. Helion 
  4. Looptech me 
I have tried all the websites provided above except the service checkers

3.    Shop Audits 
It is similar to Mystery shopping. The only difference is we will let the Sales people know that we are there for auditing the shop. We go around and fill in the questionnaire then and there and take necessary pictures. These usually happen for High-end brands. 

4.    Turn once cherished hobby into a career
Turning a hobby into a career is something which I have seen many women doing nowadays, and I amazed seeing many talents. The time is now to resume that hobby which has taken a backseat in due course. If you feel you are not an expert yet to make a career out of it, you are still not late to excel in it or at least enjoy the mere pleasure of doing it.

5.    Meet ups 
Meetups are something which is the best you can do if you are a social person and would love to make new friends which share same interests. “Meetup” website can help you get a list of meetups they have in your area which you can filter according to your interests. Let it be spiritual, physical, exploring new cuisines, learning new languages. You name it, and you can find it. In case you haven't found the one you are looking for feel free to start a group. “ Meetup “ has a mobile app as well. 

6.    Reading 
Reading takes a backseat with a baby or naughty toddler around. But doing light readings would light up your mood. Finishing a book gives a sense of accomplishment and maybe you can make a note of the books you read with a summary of it. Looking back on the list will make you proud 

And to the world, if you think a homemaker is jobless you don't see that she is sacrificing her wishes to build a better family and society for you. She is busy raising good human beings for a better world. "Next time you tell a woman she is doing nothing at home, please know she is doing many things so that you can do the few things you do peacefully not being bothered about those many."  

 This blog is a part of my process to keep myself motivated and happy Thank you for being a part of my virtual social circle. I would love to hear from you.   

 


Comments

21/11/2016 8:57am

Being the homemaker is hard work. You always have to keep the house neat and tidy, and then after that, you need to cook for the family as well. There's almost no rest for people like that. But being a mother can be rewarding too. You just have to persevere and stay strong. Love your family no matter what.

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16/02/2017 10:17am

Once you became a mother, you will have this feeling that you want to take care of your kids and you want to work and continue your profession as well. I am not a mother yet, but I must say that I know the feeling. I have seen my mother feeling really frustrated and pissed off by all the same tasks she is doing for the past 15 years. I really think though that since we are on the stage of our lives wherein we can already be left and trusted in the chores at home, my mother is now free to continue her passion. I usually tell this to her, but she insists on staying at home. Well, if I will be asked, I will probably allow my mother to do whatever she wants to do right now because I owe her my life and I believe that she deserves to be happy.

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05/12/2016 6:19pm

I hope you are alright now. Depression might be very dangerous sometimes.

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17/11/2017 9:19pm

I see nothing is wrong about mother who chose to stay inside their houses. This just means that they are choosing a simple life to serve her family in general. I admire your courage for choosing the path which you think that will be best for you. I know it's been a huge decision of you, but for the sake of your family you gave up everything. It's true that being a mother is being selfless! Women of today should take it from you!

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We are prone to depression. Sometimes, we thought that we're just stressed in our work, but we don't know that we might be depressed already. Depression can be fatal if not treated quickly. By doing these tips on this site, we can prevent ourselves from depression. Thank you for sharing this with us.

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Part time job or freelance is a key. I'm a freelancer for almost 5 years and this works just fine for me.

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24/07/2017 10:07pm

I am glad that this depression is gone now. I hope you are a happy person.

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